Blue Sky
by Of Darklings and Shadow Men
Summary: "Blue sky," I said, staring up at it. A lump formed in my throat. Darklings weren't supposed to cry. "Alina." (The Darkling's final moments, from his point of view)


_**Blue Sky**_

_**Oh my gosh, I almost cried while I wrote this fanfic. :(**_

_**All right, well, this is a scene from Ruin & Rising. (i do not own the Grisha trilogy or any of these characters, by the way) It's the Darkling's death, from Aleksander's point of view. I was crushed at the end of the book because I wanted so badly for Alina to be his redemption. So this is what Aleksander thought and felt in his final moments, with a few changes I've made at the end. Reviews are welcome and appreciated :)**_

**The Darkling**

"How?"

Alina was crouched in front of me her posture strong, brave, full of light. But now there was a brokenness to her, a hollow place in her brown eyes. The tracker was sprawled on the dead sands behind her. Blood pooled in a crimson tide around him, spilled from his chest, which was still and lifeless. The two Heartrenders knelt over him and ran their hands over his torso. It was a last desperate effort to bring him to life. I stared. How had he died? Who had killed him?

"This can't be," I went on, glancing at the chaos around us. The Shadow Fold rumbled like distant, dying thunder, unraveling like tendrils of inky mist. Beams of light shot up to the sky, burning away more of the blackness. The pained shrieks of the volcra split the air. "Not without the firebird," I went on. "The third—" I stopped. Looked again at the tracker's body. _Saints. _"It can't be."

Alina was expressionless.

"What power is this?" I strode toward her. She wanted to fight me and end this before. Fine then. I wouldn't hold back. Darkness billowed from my hands, wreathed around me like whirling tongues of ink. The _nichevo'ya _hissed and clicked, beating their wings furiously. Alina's eyes widened and she raised her hands to summon. Nothing happened.

I halted in shock. The shadows died around me. She wasn't summoning. She _couldn't _summon. I shook my head. "No," I rasped, staring at her. "No. This isn't— What have you done?"

"Keep working," she snapped to the Heartrenders. She ignored me so easily, as though I meant nothing. The Heartrenders protested, but she cut them off with an icy edge to her voice. _"Bring him back to me."_

She pushed herself to her feet and faced me fearlessly. Her ivory hair fell about her shoulders in a fall of snow. I went to her and brushed my fingers over her neck. The skin was warm, smooth, and bare; the collar of bone had crumbled from her. I glanced down and my heart stopped. The fetter had collapsed in on itself too, breaking away in the gray sands of the Fold. She was free. But she wasn't Grisha either.

"No," I whispered. "This isn't right." Desperation was rising in me, making me breathless. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was supposed to be powerful. She was supposed to be mine. I trailed my fingers over her neck. Nothing. No surge of surety, no opening of that connection between us. Swallowing, I cradled her face in my hands, frantically looking into her eyes. She gazed back numbly. Some piece of me deep inside fell apart. "You were meant to be like me. You were meant... You're _nothing _now."

I let go of her and staggered back. My mind reeled. _It's not meant to be like this. She was the only one like me. _Gritting my teeth, I spread my arms. The darkness rushed for me, spilling from my hands, tumbling to the ground in waves of shadow. The _nichevo'ya _growled and spun in the air. I lost myself in it, in the call of power, the blackness that I commanded. It would keep me alive for centuries, countless lifetimes. And now there was no one to be with me during that eternity. Anguish opened a hole inside of me and I cried out with the pain of it. The _nichevo'ya _whirled and dove. With grating wails, they struck down anything that moved, everyone who dared to stand in the remains of my Shadow Fold. The screams of the victims rose into the air and I basked in it. Let them scream. Let them feel this pain.

A whisper of movement.

A swift step in the sands.

Agony exploded from my chest, stealing the breath from my lungs.

I choked on a gasp and glanced down at the hilt of a knife. It was the only thing still visible above my chest; the entirety of the blade was buried deep in my heart. Stunned, I raised my eyes to her face. _But I thought..._

I stumbled, then forced myself to straighten again. _This _was how it ended? This was how I died?Out of all the people in the world, _she_ was the one who killed me? I had to laugh, but when I did, I tasted blood. I winced. "Like _this?" _I asked aloud, not sure who I was talking to.

Talking caused the pain to carve a path deep into my veins. I shuddered, sinking to the ground, to my knees, and then giving up. I let myself fall and the sand pressed into my back. I slipped my fingers into it. Soft. When I lifted my gaze, the Fold was tearing apart. Brilliant blue shone from between the black strands of smoke. It made it hard to breathe for some reason.

"Blue sky," I said, staring up at it. A lump formed in my throat. Darklings weren't supposed to cry. "Alina," I murmured. She was beside me in an instant, kneeling, a numb look still on her face. I couldn't bear that. "Alina," I said again, and fumbled until I found her hand. I held it and saw her numbness shatter. Her eyes glistened and a single tear escaped down her cheek. Reaching up, I stopped it from sliding down her face and brushed it away. A smile almost broke free.

"Someone to mourn me," I said, grateful for that, at least. I dropped my hand to my side. My chest throbbed, burned. It hurt so horribly, I couldn't imagine anything more painful. "No grave," I breathed, clenching my jaw, "for them to desecrate."

A soft sound came from her, nearly a sob. "All right," she said. Tears were streaming down her face now, her eyes brimming with grief. I wanted to tell her that it was okay, really it was. There was nothing anyone could do now, or would do. So this was how it had to be. _Don't cry, Alina. I already forgive you. I just wish things had been different. But no one can change that now. _I fought to keep my eyes open. Blackness blurred the edges of my vision.

And suddenly, I wanted to take it all back.

I wanted to live. There was too much I hadn't said, too much I needed to tell her. This couldn't end this way. I inhaled raggedly.

"Once more," I begged. "Speak my name once more."

She gazed at me silently for a long moment. I waited, fighting back the void, the ending, the tears. I needed this. Just this one thing. _Please, _I thought desperately. _I need you, I love you. _I nearly sobbed, because I knew that she would never love me back.

"Aleksander."

I trembled at the way her voice slipped over me, softer than a sigh. I closed my eyes. The darkness was already dragging me under. It had come to me as it always had, silent and willing. Only this time, I couldn't control it. I let out a long breath. "Don't let me be alone," I murmured to her.

Above us, that shred of blue grew wider, the skies opening to take me.

Perhaps my regret at the end and my love for her was enough for me to be forgiven.

The last thing I felt was her hand in mine.


End file.
